It’s fall semester and you see the sorority girls wearing letters all over campus and can’t help but think about going through recruitment. So you sign up; you’re excited to make new friends, and then you tell your boyfriend and… he shoots you down immediately. “You’re not a sorority girl- why would you want to be one of them?!”
At first you think he’s being ridiculous – shouldn’t he be supporting you? But you need to realize that there is a divide between Greeks and non-Greeks. And if your boyfriend is against Greek life, it’s going to be hard to change his viewpoints. Although you shouldn’t need to defend your decision, it doesn’t hurt to have a conversation to put his negative thoughts to rest. So here’s a few pointers on what to say to him.
Going Greek means you will have a schedule full of events. Chapters, philanthropy events, and socials are just part of it. Your man might be nervous that you’ll no longer have any free nights to watch Netflix and eat take-out with him. Reassure him that he’s still a large part of your life and that it’s not changing. With that being said, however, don’t skip out on every social because you feel guilty about going to a fraternity house instead of hanging out with your boy. He may get a little jealous- but if he absolutely doesn’t want you going to socials, then you will need to have a talk.
A major perk of Greek life is the formals. It’s like high school homecoming but 1000x better. If he says he doesn’t want to go, don’t take him seriously. After all, have boys ever had a say in this matter? Ask him a cute way- maybe ordering him a pizza will persuade him to go. Plus, who doesn’t love seeing their guy dressed up?
Being your own person is a great feeling. The strongest couples are the ones composed of two great individuals- not one great twosome. If you and your boy can’t make decisions by yourselves or go out to parties without each other, you might want to work on being more independent. This is college, and you both need to have your own experiences in order to learn and grow.
To go along with the above point, you probably want to experience new things. You might be looking for a new friend group or a way to get involved on-campus. Going Greek is a great way to do these things, and your boyfriend should be encouraging of this! If he doesn’t want you going Greek because he doesn’t want you hanging out frat guys, remind him know that you’ll be spending almost 100% of your time with your sisters. After all, every girl could use 100+ sisters to do girl things with (shopping, mani-pedi’s, and watching Gossip Girl)
If your boyfriend is still not okay with you going Greek after you have this conversation, there might be a larger problem at hand. He might not trust you or he might be a little too controlling. If he can’t encourage you to chase your dreams, then you might want to start moving on. College is short and you don’t want to be held back by a boy who might not matter to you in 10 years.