Relationships

Girl, Damaged Goods Are Still Good. Here's Why.

You are imperfect. Say it and be free, my friends. You are imperfect, and it is highly likely that the men or women you’ll be dating in the future are imperfect, too.

Everyone goes their whole life dreaming of the perfect person to spend their lives with. We want someone perfect for our idealistic sense of beauty, has their sh*t together, lots of money, good in bed, et cetera.

But can we really expect to want a person to fill our “other half” who is perfect? Because let’s be honest, if we’re looking for someone who is perfect for us as individuals, we’re expecting him or her to be imperfect in order to fit our “perfect” other half mold.

Everyone has some skeletons in their closet. We’re all damaged goods at this point and that’s what makes it real. We need to stop being afraid of this and expose the bad stuff in order to find someone who loves you even though they’ve seen it and vice versa. No one wants to be fixed; we are all just looking for someone to love us in this crazy, broken world.

In order to have a healthy relationship, we need to begin with honesty. You’re f*cked up, I’m f*cked up, and the right ones for us our f*cked up, too.

In case you aren’t yet convinced that basic individuals are actually beneath you, consider this:

  1. You’ve already learned to love yourself because at some point, you had to. Because of this, you became very self-aware. This is the absolute best thing that comes from being totally f*cked up as an individual.
  2. No one wants to be judged. Once the cats are out of the bag, if they’re still there, the hardest part is over. The next step is acceptance. A relationship based on pure acceptance of one another is so freeing. We can hope this will lead to trust and then maybe bettering each other. None of that could happen if one person is constantly judging and bringing up the other’s flaws or past. We’re trying to move forward as the world spins madly on — not backwards.
  3. You both have a deeper understanding of a darker world. And therefore, you have a connection based on that alone. You’ve both seen the world dish out unfairness, bitterness, and sarcasm. There are things that have happened to you both — bad days, good days, crazy coworkers, mental illness and chronic illnesses and death are familiar with your lives at some point, and you both understand. To put it simply, misery loves company. You know at the end of the day, no matter how f*cked up, your imperfectly perfect S/O at least has an understanding of your struggles. Maybe they can’t always relate, but they always have a place for you to *vent, scream, cry, laugh, sing, throw things, etc.* People who have gone through hell and back know the same grief as you and are generally more empathetic.

Bottom line, these people are not what you deserve because they are “all you can get.” You truly deserve them because you were lucky enough to find such a gem, you beautiful, one of a kind gem.

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