Breaking up is never easy – especially when he dumps you the day after Christmas. A part of your life goes missing, no matter how easy or hard the aftermath of the break up is. You’re sad and it feels like everything around you reminds you of your ex. But there’s always a silver lining, a rainbow after the storm. It may take a while, but here’s what I learned a year after my worst breakup – the good and the bad.
- Your friends are who you should always count on – In my 2 year relationship, I let a lot of my friendships fade to put my boyfriend on a pedestal. Everything I did revolved around him. If he wanted to hang out, I was there. If he wanted me to stay in on a weekend, I did. When we broke up, I was blindsided and felt alone. When my friends found out, all of them rallied for me. They called me, took me out and made sure I was never alone. I realized that no matter what had happened, they knew I needed them. That has become the most important lesson to me. Never forget about your friends. Never forget who has always been there.
- They will move on – in the beginning days, weeks and maybe even months for some people, it’s easy to stay in a state of ignorance. I never thought of my ex with anyone else…until it happened. Quicker than expected, but it happened. I stayed in a state of ignorance for a while and then it hit. It hurt, but it had to happen. And for me, it almost helped me move on more. It was like the final nail in the coffin of our breakup and there was no turning back now.
- But so will you – although you might feel like you’re #foreveralone you will move on. You’ll start talking to more people, you’ll kiss more people and you will find another boyfriend. It takes time, for me it’s still an ongoing search, but I know that it’ll happen. Just keep kissing frogs.
- There will be a lot of firsts – especially if you’ve been in a relationship for over a year, you’ll be doing a lot of stuff “for the first time”. For me, it was my first kiss with someone else in 4 years, my first formal with a different boy. It’ll feel weird – yes. But it’s also fun. There’s a lot more freedom, there’s a lot less responsibility to another person.
- You will change – you will feel like a different person. You might feel like a part of your identity is missing and that’s okay. You just need to fill the void that he left with more things that make you happy. A new hobby, a tougher gym routine, a second major or minor in school. You’ll have a lot more time to focus on things that make you happy and that’s not a bad thing!
- You will feel a sense of freedom – after it hurts (and it will hurt for a while), you will wake up one day and feel free. It might take months, but it will happen. You will wake up and realize that you were happy with him, but you’re a new person now and you’re happy with yourself. Realizing you can make yourself happy is the key to moving on from a bad breakup. You don’t have to sacrifice anything for the happiness of someone else. You can literally do whatever you want! Travel? Go. Want that new jacket? Spend.
Sometimes, being single is a beautiful thing. And remember – you have to kiss some frogs (as many as you can!) to find your prince.
Keep on kissing, ladies.