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The Art of Sarcasm: Do You Have The Gift?

Cutting language, remarks that mean the opposite of what they seem to say and a little bit of mockery; some think that sarcasm is a curse. Personally, I think it’s the best gift I could have inherited. In my world, sarcasm is an art that has taken me a solid 20 years to perfect. It’s not easy to have to police the stupidity of society and blurt out the ruthless truth all the time. But hey, someone has to do it. You know you were naturally gifted with sarcasm if these statements resonate with you:

The Art of Sarcasm: Do You Have The Gift?

  1. Take a back seat English. Sarcasm is now your first and almost only language. Sarcasm slips out of your mouth so often that you’re starting to forget you’re doing it. Or that being a kind-hearted, nice person is also an option. But what would be the fun in that?
  2. When you try to make a serious comment, everyone usually starts laughing and assumes you’re joking. Thanks guys. Sometimes I can be a sweetheart. And by sometimes I’m talking like maybe once a month if you’re lucky.
  3. You have to throw the words “I’m just kidding” after comments at least 10x a day. Better safe than sorry.
  4. You quite possibly give the worst advice on the planet earth. Tough love and “suck it up” are the only pep talks you have in your playbook.
  5. If anyone manages to do anything remotely stupid in your presence, and they always do, they better be prepared for the slow clap coming their way. That’ll teach them.
  6. First impressions are your worst nightmares. Word vomiting out a string of sarcastic comments to a stranger never seems to go over too well. Thank God your best friend is standing next to you and convincing the stranger that you’re just kidding…except you’re really not but they don’t need to know that.
  7. Nothing is worse than when people take your jokes serious. You can’t help that you’re stuck like this. Sarcasm is practically a disease with no cure. It’s not like you have control over what’s flowing out of your mouth.
  8. You’re not actually a negative person. That’s the sarcasm speaking and it has a mind of its own.
  9. Wait, flirting isn’t when you be mean to a boy? Huh? Guess I’ve been getting that one wrong since age 3.
  10. People that are happy 24/7 instantly trigger your gag reflex. What did you have for breakfast? A bowl of sunshine and unicorns? Take it down 15 notches.
  11. Meeting an equally sarcastic person is a dream come true. It instantly becomes a battle to see how has the power to out-wit the other. Don’t worry. You always win.
  12. Your mom has been hearing “Don’t tell me what to do” since you began speaking as an infant. Although you just say it to make a point and then proceed to clean your room just like you were instructed.
  13. People continuously misinterpret your texts because sarcasm just doesn’t translate to this type of communication. Help us here Apple?

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