What You're Telling Yourself When You Say "I'm Fine"

When you say that you’re fine, you’re telling yourself that what you’re feeling doesn’t matter. You’re saying that what you’re going through isn’t significant enough for you to feel anything but normal. You’re sending the message that you are not allowed to feel exactly how you’re feeling.

And all of that is wrong.

We go through our young adult lives believing we have to keep it all together. We have to look to the future while still living in the moment and embrace every experience as it comes. We’re supposed to be resilient and strong, bounce-back kind of women who are not held back by fear or heartbreak. At least, that’s who we think we’re supposed to be.

Outside our courageous imaginations that is not the truth. Each of us has unique emotions that make us the women we are. We feel deeply and passionately with gentle hearts and because of that we are often hurt. When that happens, you do not have to be fine. I will say it again because you do not hear it enough–you do not have to be fine.

You are entitled to your emotions, no matter how complex. You are allowed to be upset, angry, scared, sad, and jealous. When you speak the words “I am” they can be followed by the adjectives of your choosing, and I promise the more honest you are the better you will feel.

Admitting you are not fine is not a sign of weakness. It does not mean that you are falling apart, and even if you are, that’s okay, too. The more we are able to confront our emotions, the more help we can receive.

I know it’s hard to acknowledge that not everything is as perfect as we want it to seem. We feel embarrassed when we can’t hold it all in and just fake a smile, but we shouldn’t have to. When you can tell yourself you are not fine you can take the first step to actually getting there.

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