Relationships

A Letter to Every Guy Who Thinks He's in the Friendzone

Dear FRIEND,

It has recently come to my attention that you think you’re in the friendzone. Guess what! You probably are. A synonym for friendzone? Friendship. Look it up. In this modern society, girls and boys can actually be friends. But if you think you’re too special for the title of friend and want to put “boy” before it, here’s some important reading for you:

1. Girls can have friends who are guys

And likewise, guys can have friends who are girls. Weird, right? If you’re one of those people who sees the other gender only as suitable mates, you’re gonna have a long, lonely road ahead of you.

2. Girls get (as you would say) friendzoned too

Believe it or not, there are guys out there who aren’t as desperate for a girlfriend as you. These guys are able to have friends who are girls because they are capable of recognizing when a girl is actually attractive to them, and not just cool and hot. These guys respect girls. Mad props to them!

3. You CAN “get out”

But not by complaining about how in the friendzone you are. Sure, plenty of friendships have escalated into something more. Just watch any sitcom ever (cough cough Friends). The key to accomplishing this is simple: you need chemistry. If the chemistry’s not there, you can’t force it or wait for it to grow over time. You either have it, or you don’t.

4. Stop saying girls only fall for bad boys

We’re gonna fall for whoever we want to fall for. And - surprise surprise - you have no say in the matter. Of course, if a guy I’m seeing is abusive or cheating or listens exclusively to Nickelback please warn me. But don’t bitch about how I always go for bad boys and how nice guys finish last. Speaking of which…

5. Nice guys do NOT always finish last.

But newsflash: if you constantly complain about how you’re such a nice guy and that’s why no one likes you, chances are you’re not as “nice” as you think you are. And while we’re on that subject?

6. Just because you’re nice…

… does not mean you’re automatically entitled to my body. Let’s get one thing straight: you can be nice, funny, sweet, smart, good-looking, blah blah blah. And you’re probably a great friend. But if I personally am not attracted to you in THAT way, then we’re going to stay friends. Accept that, and move on.

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