When You Don't Feel Good Enough: Dealing With Rejection

Rejection. It is a word that has quite the negative context wouldn’t you say? It is a feeling that leads us to think we are not “good enough” or that we lack something special. Whether a particular relationship ended, or you got a terrible grade on a test you studied hard for, or you got a decline letter from a program you really wanted acceptance into, chances are we have all had those moments where we feel like we aren’t “enough.”

I for one, have been having a hard time dealing with this particular subject recently. Rejection can without a doubt lead you to some of your lowest points, but I wanted to share some of the lessons I have learned to encourage anyone who has ever felt like they weren’t “good enough.”

1. Closed Doors Lead to New Opportunities:

One of my favorite quotes states: “As I look back on my life, I realize that every time I thought I was being rejected from something good, I was actually being re-directed to something better.” I cannot think of a more true quote about the concept of rejection. It is important to realize that just because you weren’t cut out for a certain opportunity, does not mean that you aren’t cut out for many more opportunities in the future. I have found it very reassuring knowing that far better things are ahead of me than any I have left behind.

2. Accept the Situation, Grow from the Situation, and Move On:

I have a little rule I like to give myself regarding rejection. When I feel let down or not good enough, I allow myself one day to have a pity party for myself. Whether it be crying, venting, or blowing off steam to family and friends, I do whatever it takes to get the anger or disappointment out of my system. I am one who thinks it is terrible to hold emotions inside, so I always take one day to let all of those emotions out. However, after this day is over, I try my absolute best to not let myself keep on feeling sorry for myself. I always try to look for the positives in any situation. I have found that looking for the positives helps you to grow from situations and actually makes you a better person moving forward. Being sad or moping around feeling sorry for yourself does absolutely nothing to change the situation you are in, so be tough and keep moving forward.

3. Don’t Compare and Be Happy for the Success of Others:

I’m going to use another one of my favorite quotes here. Steven Furtick once said “the reason why we struggle with insecurity is because we compare our behind the scenes to everyone else’s highlight reel.” When I read this quote many years ago, I was absolutely mind-blown. In today’s society we get so caught up in the idea of being perfect or smarter, stronger, or more attractive than those around us. You cannot compare your weakest moments to someone’s strongest. That just isn’t fair to yourself. If you are always striving to be the best version of YOU, I can guarantee you will be much more satisfied with your progress. Oh, and if you spend your whole life chasing perfection, you will continue to be let down time and time again, because after all, perfection is unattainable.

With that being said, don’t let the negativity of you being rejected and not feeling “good enough” hinder your love and support of the success of your peers and friends. It is easy to be bitter because of your negative situation, but try your best to be happy for the successes of the people around you. I can also almost guarantee that supporting those around you will make you feel 10x better about yourself as well.

4. Trust that You Have a Plan and Purpose:

Isaiah 14:27 reads: “All the forces of darkness cannot stop what God has ordained.” In other words, God is saying that nothing can stop the plan He has created for your life. So with that being said, stop over-analyzing and trying to perfectly plan out everything about your life. If something is meant to be, He will allow that to happen. So if you didn’t get a call back for an interview, you weren’t meant to have that job. It has absolutely nothing to do with you, it just simply wasn’t meant to be a part of your life at this very moment. Trust that God has planned out such an amazing life for us, and our purpose in the world is something only He can understand.

All in all, rejection is a super tough reality to deal with. It hurts and stings, and can lead us to think less of ourselves. However, remember all of the wonderful opportunities that you don’t even know about right now that are heading your way. So forget about the boyfriend or girlfriend who dumped you, or the program that didn’t accept you… it’s their loss, anyway. Keep the faith and remember that there are better things ahead that you can’t even imagine.

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