Thoughts

5 Reasons You Shouldn't Crowd Surf At Concerts

1. Everyone is trying to enjoy the show.

Seriously. We all paid to get in here. I want to actually WATCH this show, not have to worry about some moron landing on my head every 5 seconds.

2. I promise you’re incapable of staying flat and easy to throw.

Crowd surfing is nothing like it is in movies. You don’t stay flat as a board; you kick your legs all over the place and end up planting your shoe in someone’s face. Not cool.

3. Everyone gets tired.

After constantly holding people over your head for several songs in a row, the crowd gets tired. By the end of the show, it is inevitable that you are going to be dropped, and you’re the only one to blame for hoisting yourself up onto people who have no interest in touching your sweaty body (and trust me, you are sweaty).

4. Please remember that there are small girls in the crowd (like me).

Inevitably, there will be girls in the crowd who are just too small to hold people over their heads. You can’t assume everyone you’re going to float over is a big burly man.

5. TAKE YOUR SIZE INTO ACCOUNT.

No, really. If you’re 6 feet tall and weigh 300 pounds, you are an absolute moron and I have no sympathy for you when you get dropped on your head. In no universe are the people in the crowd going to be able to hoist you over their heads and throw you onto someone else. You’re going to break someone.

There are so many more reasons why crowd surfing is unnecessary, but these highlight the most important reasons. Moral of the story: dudes, stick to moshing. You’re better at it and at least people can avoid you when you come barreling at them.

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