Relationships

What It's Like To Be Single In College

Everyone always says that college is the time that you’re supposed to find the person you want to spend the rest of your life with. So, when I first started college, I was terrified. The fact that you’re supposed to find a person to marry while you’re at school was incredibly daunting to me. What if I couldn’t do it? What if no one liked me and I was doomed to be forever alone?

I went into college with the mindset that I was just going to look for serious relationships because I was a “relationship” person. Let me tell you, that failed miserably (as you can probably imagine). After trying, with absolutely no luck to find my future other-half, I decided that something needed to change. I needed to change my mindset.

So I did. And it was one of the best decisions I’ve made.

When I was looking for serious relationships, I wasn’t happy. I was spending too much time stressing and not enough time enjoying myself. I mean, that’s what college is for, isn’t it? If you don’t enjoy it, then what’s the point? I began to focus more on doing what I really wanted, which was to have the time of my life with all of the amazing people around me.

I would get dressed up to go out, but it wasn’t to impress some boy anymore. It was to make myself feel confident. Being able to look in the mirror without having to think about if a guy would notice me was an incredible feeling that I’m glad I finally experienced. Now, when I would meet a guy, it would just be for fun. My immediate thoughts weren’t, “What would he look like in a tux walking down the aisle?” I stopped worrying about whether a guy was going to text me after we hung out, or whether he was going to ask me to hang out again. I was more focused on hanging out with my friends than I was searching for Mr. Right. It was liberating.

I have to admit that I almost reverted back to my old ways because I missed being in a relationship. I missed having that one person you could always go to and count on, but I realized that I had to learn to stand tall on my own. I came to the realization that, despite what some people say, college isn’t always about finding a spouse. It’s about finding yourself.

So, for those anxious single ladies out there, just take a deep breath. Whether or not you find the Cory to your Topanga (for you Boy Meets World fans like me) while you’re in college is irrelevant as long as you found out who you truly are.

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