College, Relationships

6 Things That Happen When You Date a Non-Greek

If you had asked my sisters this time last year who the least likely person to be in a relationship from our chapter was, I would have probably been near the top of the list. It wasn’t that I had sworn off dating or hated love or was even too busy, I was just focused on myself and doing what I could to be a better me (which, just so everyone knows, is O-K to do!)

What I thought didn’t matter apparently, though, because the world another plan for my happily single self - and that plan went by the name of Wesley. So there I was. The middle of my sophomore year (AKA the “fun year”). And suddenly dating a fireman who lived an hour away. He wasn’t in Greek life. He wasn’t even in college. And everybody had something to say about this foreign new thing in my life.

1. Your sisters will question you… then stalk his Facebook anyway.

It’s different when your boyfriend is in a fraternity on campus - Greek life is close, and chances are good that almost your whole chapter will know who your boyfriend is. Even if he’s not a Greek, someone in your chapter probably knows him if he goes to your school. When he’s an “outsider” like Wesley was, they question you about absolutely everything: where he’s from, if he’s employed, his age, his past girlfriends, where he goes to school, if he goes to school, his height, his eye color… the list goes on and on, but the point is that your sisters want to know everything shy of his social security number to make sure he’s acceptable - and if you won’t give up the goods, they’ll find out anyway.

2. Your favorite group of fraternity men will question you even more than your sisters will.

Maybe this is just me, but I have made some of my absolute best friends with the fraternity men on my campus. And if there is one thing I know above all others, it’s that they are always looking out for me. Some of them treat me just like a sister, and as my “big brothers”, they also have to check this guy out and make sure he’s okay. Unlike your sisters, your guy friends aren’t going to ask about your new boy’s good looks - they’re going to make sure he’s a perfect gentleman to you. And when they figure out that he’s just as gentlemanly as any of them…

3. They’ll try to rush him.

It’s inevitable. Once your best guy friends around (who have to be quite the gentlemen if they’re your favorites, right?) realize your new beau is just as cool as they are, they’ll want you to share him. And, let’s be honest, if he’s okay in your book then he’d probably make a great addition to the ranks of your favorite brotherhood. In my case, Wesley didn’t even go to our school let alone belong to a fraternity there. But he still ended up bonding with some of my closest guy friends and is well on his way to becoming an unofficial brother if I ever saw one.

4. You’ll realize how limited your social circle can be at times.

Now I’m not saying none of us have friends outside of Greek life - most of us are much too involved on campus for that to be true - but dating someone with an entirely different group of friends than me without any overlap allowed me to expand my social network. I gained more friends from new places and different backgrounds and even got the chance to introduce some of them to my usual clique. And now my group of friends is bigger and better than ever!

5. Your best friend will get jealous - even though she likes the guy.

I’m gonna level with you guys for a minute here. *ahem* If we’re having a jealousy race between my boyfriend and my bestie (who shall henceforth be referred to as “my wife”), my wife finishes and wins the race before Wesley even leaves the starting gate. And even though she was the one who introduced us, she still can project that jealousy onto him at times. Any best friend would do the same. When you go from just you and your girl kicking back, wreaking havoc, and taking on the world together to sharing time with her and another person, it’s just going to happen. Some days you’ll pick your boy over your wife, and that will suck. But other days you’ll pick her, and she’ll appreciate that too. Then. One day. When they’ve both come to terms with the other’s existence. They’ll become besties too. (Or stepwife and stephusband, anyone?)

6. You will find the balance.

Sometimes it can be really hard to date someone who lies outside your usual realm of human connection. You have to try a lot harder to connect two parts of your world and make them mesh together. But when you do. When you find that balance. You create a new world that includes all the people you love the very most, and whether or not that world stays perfect, it’s something all your own. So enjoy it.

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