My summer health kick has been a rollercoaster, to say the least. I returned home from my freshman year of college in mid-may and after a trip to Miami and hating every single picture I had taken on the beach, I was in absolute denial that I had actually gained the freshman 15. I thought that was a myth! That’ll never happen to me! I work out aaaaallll the time… Yeah. Let’s be real. An hour workout 2-3 times a week doesn’t exactly counteract the Venti Frappuccinos and bags of Doritos I devoured a little too often. I guess I just really couldn’t notice it while I was at school having the time of my life. But when I got home, oh my, did I notice it.
Not only did I hate the number on the scale, but for the first time in 2 years, I hated the way my body looked. I was embarrassed to wear a bathing suit and swore I was going to start a strict diet and go to the gym EVERY day.
My first step towards losing the weight was a crazy green smoothie cleanse. I prepared my own smoothies; 3 a day for 10 days… I couldn’t even last 4. The smoothies were a fail, and I was onto the next thing. A no-carb diet… which ended as quickly as it started. I really just couldn’t figure out what to do for the first month and a half, but then July came along and everything just fell into place. Living a healthy lifestyle doesn’t have to be hard or demanding. I ate more vegetables and less junk food. Apples and peanut butter replaced chips and dip, and seltzer water replaced soda. I dedicated my days to being active no matter what. I nannied a couple days a week, and on those days I took 4 mile walks with a stroller. I started going to a trainer 3 days a week early in the morning to kick-start my metabolism. I got into running and went for runs around a local lake when I had a free hour, and going to the gym with my bestie from home became one of my fave things to do. Finally everything clicked and I started seeing results. Today, I can confidently say that I’m happy with my appearance, but that’s not the only thing that I’m happy with…
The easiest way to put it is when I first went home for the summer, I didn’t like myself. Like, at all. What got me to this point is that I let toxic people get the best of me and I lost a lot of myself along the way. I wasn’t me; everyone could tell. I wasn’t the happy, cheery girl that I usually was. This had been the norm for me for more than a few weeks, and sadly, I had accepted that I just wasn’t going to be happy for a while. It’s hard to think positively about what’s on the outside when you’re not thinking positively about what’s on the inside. After a couple weeks of sulking and being a foreign version of myself, I got over it. I sprung back to being the real me.
When I started to like myself on the inside, I began to like my outward appearance as well. The media portrays “skinny” as the only acceptable way to look. Well “skinny” just isn’t in the cards for me. I have muscles and curves and I LOVE THEM. Being fit & healthy is the new “skinny”. I realized that I’m a Khloe in a Kendall world.
A positive mind gave me motivation to get HEALTHY & FIT, not skinny. Body love is really important, but self-love is EVERYTHING. We can’t really rely on anyone’s love forever except for our own. LOVE YOURSELF OR NOBODY WILL!
Throughout this journey I learned some things I’d love to share:
I don’t wish the feeling of not loving yourself upon my worst enemy. It was a rough couple of months for me, but I got through it and I’m happier now than I ever was. Now, I love myself and I’ll continue living my happy, healthy life single until someone can prove to me that they can care about me as much as I care about myself.